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Posted on June 28, 2010

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Adult Cockerfly

In case you didn’t already know, a cockerfly is an endangered species of insect that is best described as a cross between a cockroach and a butterfly.

Thanks to the God-given miracle of the internet, you can now learn how to easily acquire and preserve your very own specimen by following these simple instructions.

Being a scientist has never been this easy!

Adult Cockerfly

Adult Cockerfly

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Posted on April 26, 2010

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hand1

The popularity of Twitter’s real-time publication platform has very rapidly transformed a data-rich communication medium (Teh Internetz) into a rapid-firing, text-based, publication tool akin to a high-tech telegraph. While on one hand it is useful to have a massive database of real-time, localized, data-sets, consisting primarily of useless social drivel, on the other hand it has yet to be effectively demonstrated as to why. The worst of it is that Twitter’s posting restrictions have limited the communications of countless seemingly intelligent and talented individuals to a level of mental impairment and has also obscenely limited their ability to meaningfully express themselves and/or engage in sustained critical dialogue.

And let us take a moment as not to forget that pervasive digital publishing services don’t just operate on electronic devices, but also drive the future development of said devices. The proliferation of Twitter will have a serious impact upon the future development of devices intended for real-time networked communications by undermining the value of a rich multimedia experience. This will limit the ability for mobile devices to share and publish images, audio and video. Most obvious, this will prevent the dissemination of the art form that prior to now unequivocally set technological standards – pornography.

Until recently, Twitter’s unique platform has made it nearly impossible to engage in real-time transmission of pornographic images, setting technological advancement back decades. Yet, thanks to my own personal research and the development time of myself and known-pornovator Evan Harper, I present to you a methodology for using Twitter’s stunted interface for sharing data-rich pornography, one pixel at a time. It is my hope that this will further the development of integrated data-rich content within Twitter’s unique platform. Perhaps some day, the medium will advance to the point where we will be able to use Twitter to transmit girl-on-girl video in semaphore.

Go here for detailed instructions on sharing pornography in real-time, pixel by pixel, with your friends and family.

Follow Porn on Twitter!

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Posted on February 22, 2010

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fatring

FAT Ring is kind of like far-ting for r-tards. It is also offers an alternative web indexing system to compete with those offered by key players like Google and Yahoo. The key to the “FAT Ring Indexing System” is the patented “Ring of Trust” Approach, in which FAT Lab only indexes relevant websites that they trust and respect. The FAT Ring, therefore, most effectively provides a researcher with all of the most pertinent websites related to FAT Lab.

FAT Ring!

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Posted on February 3, 2010

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